Notes of standards
ADJUSTMENTS OF SELF PART 3
Less norms more purpose and personal meaning.
You give your life meaning.
You give value and intensity to situations. You decide to give authorities impact over you. Or not.
Leading a life true to your standars, values and thoughts about how your life should be, strips away a lot of frustration, thoughts and feelings of restriction, and save a lot of energy for you to use what’s important and meaningful to you.
“WHO AM I?” is the most important question you can ask yourself.
When you start to come closer to the core of who you are; what you like, what you don’t like, what you think is important, what you think is less important, what’s giving you mental stimulation, what you think is beautiful, and how you want to use your given gifts, your energy and your time on earth – then you also start to come closer to your purpose and what’s meaningful.
Motivation, strength and courage to say YES or NO depending on what you truly want instead of what you think is expected, will often start to arise from this wisdom.
A human being who values kindness, love, empathy, respect, justice and equality as foundational human rights, gifts and responsibilities, should not feel trapped by social norms or opinions. They’re often in the way of autonomy, joy and potential.
Find out who you are and how you can be of service in a way that also serves you back.
Integrate the foundational human rights, gifts and responsibilities in who you are and what you do, and if someone is complaining, critiquing or just throwing their own personal frustrations on you, you can much easier move forward with the absolute knowing that you lead your life, create and elevate from the right source.
Don’t explain, defend or argue.
Just move on with what’s meaningful to you.
Less overthinking more contribution in the moment, as who you are.
What is required to be able to be mindful, full of trust and confidence in a situation where you earlier felt uncomfortable and insecure?
Instead of putting unnecessary pressure on yourself, can you shift your inner conversation to a more supportive tone that helps you figure out a way to completely own you uniqueness in any given situation and context?
What is required for you to give yourself permission to go for it, your way, as who you are, without insecurities and restricting words pointed towards yourself? To stay and learn and lead yourself with curiosity instead of running away?
Awareness of, and inner strength to handle/adjust/guide your thoughts, perspective and the story you tell yourself in a particular context/situation where you feel that you don’t belong/live up to – is a good starting point to slowly but surely build more space around yourself in challenging situations, and remove a lot of unnecessary pressure that you put on yourself.
Switching from thoughts that want to leave to be safe, will short term feel right and good, but long term will lower your capacity to handle difficult times and inhibits your progress. You take yourself further away from potential, not closer to.
Staying in challenging situations, times and workouts is how we elevate.
If we choose to run away from things, we won’t reach our potential neither as spiritual nor human beings.
No one can take away who you are. But it’s your job to bring who you are.
There are so many people, experiences, opportunities, connections and sensations to be grateful for.
Feeling the wind in your hair or the sun on your body.
Deep breaths and mindful, grateful thoughts and feelings after an intense training session, having a vibrant conversation with a person you admire, or waking up every day and allow yourself to not hurry.
Holding yourself accountable to high standards, including kindness, curiosity and gratitude instead of unnecessary pressure will improve both the process and outcomes, as well as your resiliency, inner peace and your physical and mental energy.
Gratitude is a luxury that’s always available. And it’s a powerful tool to lead an optimistic and rich life.
Allow yourself to embrace the richness in your life of any size and dignity, and actively remind yourself of what they are.
More life here and now less planning for what (might) could happen.
Direction is important.
A knowing of what we are here to do and clarity of who we want to be.
But if we always plan for the future, trying to know in advance what will happen and trying cover every possible pitfall to have a smooth(er) ride in life, we would miss life.
The importance in knowing your standards, your direction, mission(s) and purpose, is to be able to adjust in a way that is meaningful, sharp and true to you.
Without a direction and clear standards it’s easier to end up everywhere, with no consistency in decisions, performance or well-being.
A big part of our life’s work is to get to know who we are and what we are here to do and learn, but then it’s about being our best selves in every moment. To ourself and to others.
What a foundation to explore life, potential and mysteries from!
When we’re done here on earth, loving and serving will be big parts in the summary of a fulfilling life.
We have touched this in several ways in all three parts:
Presence, gratitude, vibrance, connection (with self and others), performance, creativity, wisdom, love, etc, etc – every part lies on our ability to accept, trust and value ourselves.
Our ability, strength and courage to handle challenging times and life’s darker parts instead of running away from them (or sweeten/dampen/ignoring them).
Spending more of our time as who we truly are, and with empathy and respect for others, living our unique standards without being controlled or pushed by social norms, will take us towards a meaningful life and towards joy.
A beautiful, serene and intense sense of joy, from just being.
This is the end of three parts of adjustments, that are saying almost the same things:
– Be more of yourself (which requires a profound work to figure out and then never-ending adjustments to live as that person).
– Value to perform at the best of your capability, but also value to be the best human being you can be (which requires a profound work and never-ending adjustments).
– Go for what you want and cherish, without attachment to what other people are thinking, but never refuse the same people to go for what they want and cherish (which requires a profound work with yourself and never-ending adjustments of thoughts, perspectives and behaviors).
– Practice being less judgemental (to yourself too).
– Use (and train) your strength/discipline to put your focus where it best serves you, so that you can be, perform and love as much as you can, one moment at a time.
This requires a profound work and never-ending adjustments, as well as the understanding that our human nature is sensitive to distractions, so it’s about doing it better, not perfect.
That’s the preparation and the way.
Marcus Falk Olander